First get a bunch of hot dogs, some Ramen noodles, a squeeze-bottle of mustard and green or blue (or both) food coloring. Thinly slice the hot dogs from the mid-section down at least twice so when you boil them the ends will splay out like tentacles. Meanwhile, cook the noodles. After they're done, strain them, toss in a bowl with a few drops of the food coloring and then drop them on several plates to begin the creation of a wavy ocean scene for the youngins. Carefully place the cooked hot dogs on top, with their sea legs out and paint a smiley face on them with the squeeze-bottle of mustard.
Serve to what is hoped will be delighted yet calm little bodies.
P.S. Spaghettios heated up out of the can can also take the place of the Ramen and relish may act as a perhaps more theatrical green seaweed plot for a garnish in either case.
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