Notes To My Nutritionist

Given my flair for rampant entertaining and general proclivity toward excess, my nutritionist friend suggested over the recent 4th of July weekend that I should take some time off to detox. The task was to eliminate wheat, dairy, eggs, citrus and booze and to be accountable to her, reporting back on a daily basis. I thought about how this would really affect me: there goes my weekly slice of pizza! My pasta quick fix! There goes the grapefruit juice I add to the vodka in my Greyhounds--in fact, there go my Greyhounds! The occasional Eggs Benedict or bacon, egg and cheese sandwich I could dodge easily enough. Welcome to fresh berries, melons, fish, meat, chicken, any number of greens and lotsa water. My friend also put me on Culturelle, a course of probiotics to aid digestion and encouraged me to go back to taking my Solgar dietary supplements.

Apart from the fact that I was unable to sleep the entire time, it was the worst week to start an elimination diet, as every night was booked, but I suppose that was part of the challenge, navigating a social calendar while being mindful of what I consumed. I had a restaurant review scheduled (an Italian place of all things, the worst idea--no pasta, meatballs, or wine), a party for the magazine I write for (I ate the sliders, skipped the buns), a wine and cheese party (stalks of asparagus, edamame and I became very close), and the week culminated in a extraordinary Saturday BBQ with a bunch of my friends--none of us had all been in the same room for over 20 years. I confess I strayed a little that day with a few indulgences.

So yes, I have successfully arrived intact a whole week later. I'm supposed to add stuff back here and there, but I think I'm just going to play it as it lays. I have to say I feel better! I dropped five pounds or so and was even so moved to go for a run and a swim today. I think staying away from wheat was surprisingly, oddly helpful. But I'm a food critic and food blogger for God's sake: food is my hearth and home. I'm not Richard bloody Simmons or Jillian what-have-you from The Biggest Loser, nor do I want to be.

What will I take away from the experience? I enjoyed the regimen, the consideration of what we all eat and the pondering over what comprises our daily allowance. Although I don't wish to always be as rigid and loathsome in my dietary habits, the point of the exercise was well-taken, with a fine tether on such a delicate balance.

Here's how I ate:

MONDAY
water all day
1 Gala apple with scoop peanut butter (it gave me an itchy throat)
sugar free grape ice pop
refried low fat vegetarian beans
corn enchilada sauce
corn tortilla
sugar-free grape ice pop
grapes, blueberries, strawberries, watermelon

TUESDAY
water all day
grapes, blueberries, strawberries, watermelon
almonds
refried low fat vegetarian beans
enchilada sauce
corn tortilla (I should have eaten another one but the hot weather suppressed my appetite and then I became starving after the little I could eat at the review, below)
watermelon
From a review of an Italian restaurant (this was tricky):
sparkling water (no lemon or lime) Grilled baby octopus, arugula and potatoes in olive oil, no butter or lemon
grilled sardines in olive oil
veal prosciutto, no wine in sauce, or butter, mozzarella removed
string beans in olive oil
mint tea
sugar-free grape ice pop

WEDNESDAY
water all day
grapes, blueberries, strawberries
seltzer flavored with a little cherry syrup
sauteed fresh kale with sesame oil, garlic, liquid aminos (soy protein), rice vinegar
pan-seared chicken with sauce from the kale preparation
sugar-free cherry pop (I planned to have watermelon but I accidentally dropped the two pieces that were left. I wanted to scream!)
Sharon’s blueberry sorbet
At the Next magazine event:
seltzer water (no lime)
2 burger sliders (no bun, or cheese, only ketchup, wiped off the mayonnaise)
guacamole with corn chips
French fries
Beck’s non-alcoholic beer (only barley, yeast, hops, brewing water—no wheat or alcohol!) perhaps another sugar-free pop for dessert!

THURSDAY
Water all day
watermelon, blueberries
seltzer flavored with a little cherry syrup
Oscar Meyer turkey frankfurter
Bush’s baked beans with maple cured bacon
The Allen’s Sunshine Kale, “seasoned Southern style”
corn chips and mild garlic hummus from Whole Foods (where I bought San-J Tamari)
fistful of green olives and seltzer at Hudson Library Bar
Navigating a Wine and Cheese Party (ack!!):
water
asparagus
edamame
blue corn chips with only one swipe of guacamole (before I realized it might have lemon juice in it—didn’t eat the edamame hummus, it did have lemon in it)
strawberries
Beck’s non-alcoholic, wheat-free beer

FRIDAY
water all day
watermelon, blueberries
no lunch (can explain later)
corn chips and salsa Chicken Pad Thai (rice stick noodle)
Hobo Noodles (broad rice noodle) with broccoli
Clausthauler non-alcoholic, wheat-free beer
Hummus with celery

WILD SATURDAY 20 YEAR REUNION BBQ !!!
water
mixed berries, watermelon, pineapple
blue corn chips, guacamole, mango salsa
white wine sangria with tequila (agave-based), white cranberry juice, pineapple, berries
bacon blue cheese stuffed dates
chicken/beef burgers, ketchup, relish, mustard, some BUNS!
chicken/beef BBQ skewers
tres leches cake—a few bites, but beside the berries on top there was also some whipped cream and tres leches translates to ‘three milks’

SUNDAY
water
chirashi sushi (sashimi with only a chopstick or two of seasoned white rice)
lobster sushi (didn’t eat the rice, just some lobster, and seaweed)
homemade hummus with ½ piece pita bread

Thanks to pathtofatloss.com for the photo.