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Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The Murdery Delicious Hamwich Gumm Mystery - A Recipe for Cooked Goose!

Here I present the final clue to be revealed from my baffling, curious novel featuring food, flatulence, and foul play! There is more of course to be found in my pages so do read on and do enjoy! The Murdery Delicious Hamwich Gumm Mystery is available now at and, and there is still time to order this jewel as a perfect gift for the impending, thrilling holidays.  

{As We Proceed…}

A Recipe for Cooked Goose!
1 goose
Suspicious salt
Bothersome black pepper
Several viciously chopped onions
1 crushed garlic clove
2 teaspoons scorched thyme
2 cups white vermouth
2 groupings of ghastly canned gooseberries in syrup
2 cups of miserable Mandarin oranges

            Dispatch of a good-sized goose without guilt. Wring the neck, rip it off, remove the innards, and toss all of it quite away. Season the cavity with salt and black pepper and stuff it with the horrible onions, off-putting garlic, and thyme. Truss the bird with vigor, using something as insidious as kitchen twine. Put the goose then into a 325-degree oven, its hollow breasts side down, resting on a rack in a roasting pan. Turn and continually prick to your lonely heart’s delight, ridding your catch of its fat, 30 minutes per side.
            Baste with vermouth and abandon, and any juices that have leaked out and into the pan. Add the gooseberry syrup until utter boredom sets in, adding the gooseberries and orange sections too, while you may, before armed guardsmen knock at the door.       Remove 2 cups of pan juices, making sure the bird is well glazed, even as your eyes may be glazing over. Empty the cavity and serve with the fruit and juices poured on it. The whole process involves about 3 ½ hours; roughly the time it takes to properly dispose of a butler’s body that has been hidden away for several days.

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